MY Story.

 Spent my life locked in the dark.
Forgot who I am, so I went on a search
To rediscover my spark.

Told myself that if I kept the lid
Of My ADHD shut tight, my natural
Weirdness would magically disappear
Overnight.

Did my best to copy everyone else and
Blend in. Didn't matter what I did, I could never seem to fit in.
Taught myself to just go through the motions.

Every birthday when I'd close my
Eyes and blew out the candles,
I spent my wishes on wishing I could
Be "Normal."
Pretended the cake was a potion.
In the hopes that it would change
Me from the inside, out.

That I would finally be accepted so that society could one day see me as good enough.

But the more I tried to ignore
My true self, everything I knew
On how I "should be" spiralled out of
Control at unbelievable speeds.

Couldn't explain to my Family,
What I was going through.
That "perfect, ideal Daughter
And Sister", the only thing they knew.

Guess I was an excellent actress,
Because "the Alex show" I let them see
Of "Normal" me was flawless and
Fool proof. 

Failed miserably at making friends
At school, because try as hard as I
did, I just couldn't be who they wanted
Me to be.

Even though I craved it with all my might,
"Normal" just didn't seem to be included
In my life's dictionary.

"Weird" the main building block of my character, holding together my ultimate Personality.
Wish I knew sooner that the answer was,
Inattentive ADHD.

Was the perfect victim for my bullies,
Because they saw past my mask with
X-ray vision and could directly see
The real flawed me.

Couldn't tell my teachers what was Happening, because they would just dismiss
Me and my feelings.
Told me I was either "Exaggerating",
being "Dramatic", "Paranoid" or just plain "Silly."

Finally learning to accept and
Love all the little things that make me,
ME.

Not afraid anymore, I'm cutting out
All of those who call my condition an
"Excuse" when deep down they know,
It's an Explanation of why I am the
Way I am.

Chanel my thoughts through the art of Poetry.

Love me or not, I am and always will be unapologetically and authentically ME.
Spicy, wild, unhinged, unpredictable.
I'm teaching myself to love, be proud of and not ashamed to have, ADHD.

Here I am, look at me. My true authentic self I need you all to see. No longer am I living in the dark, I've finally after all these years, found my spark. I'm not going to be afraid any more to be myself. For the World to see Me and all my scars.

- Alexandra Pierotti.
   

ANXIETY - You Don't Ever Need To Suffer Alone, Get Help. Go To Therapy. Take it from Me, personally. It Works. This Poem is dedicated to my Therapist, Lauren Woods. Thank you for helping me find the light at the end of the dark tunnel that is my trauma.

Breathe easy. This feeling you are experiencing seems like it will stay with you forever, but give it time. I promise it will pass. Nothing can stop you, not even the panic attacks. You are strong, resilient. You will, eventually, regain composure and control. 

I know how it feels, to have this dreaded invisible storm cloud eating your mind and emotions alive. You just need to seek help, find your own personal outlet to expel it from your being in order to truly thrive. Take each step of recovery slowly.

Here's a motto for you to live by: 'One day at a time.'

Those who don't suffer this curse, will never understand. Sometimes all you need in that moment, is a trusted person, your Safe space, to hold you tight and say nothing at all. To just be there, a shoulder to lean on. A supporting hand to hold.

Allow yourself to Feel. Let everything Out. Do what works best for you to release the pressure that's holding on to you - weather that be to cry, scream, sing, draw, colour, paint, write or shout.

It takes the Strongest people to get back up on to their feet after they've fallen down this rabbit hole that is suffocating
distress. Take all the time that you need in order to breathe easy again, ground yourself and readjust your crown.

A crippling illness, that has no cure in sight. Can get better, when the right treatment for You is found. For every little, minor thing that you have accomplished today and every day so far, Honey, you should be SO proud.

You have no idea, how much power you hold. Stand up tall, hold your head up high. No amount of negativity can ever get you to fold  x.


- Alexandra Pierotti.

I Chose YOU - Dedicated to True Love anywhere and everywhere.

 Millions Of People in the World,
I chose you that day.
Those who don't understand, approve or are envious
Of what We have, whisper spiteful comments beneath
Their breath.

We don't care what they say.

I chose you, for your smile.
That fills my heart with the
Warmth of the Summer sun,
On a cold, wet, gloomy day.

I chose you, for the way
You hold me closely when
Things aren't going my way.

I chose you, for the way
You make me laugh with the
Silly little jokes you tell.
I chose you, for how to care
For me whenever I am unwell.

Love & kindness, radiates from
Your very being.
Baby, you have me caught in a trace
Under your spell.

I chose you, for the way you make
Me feel when we dance under the
Moonlit, twinkling starry night.
I chose you, for the way you hold
My hand & gently stroke my hair.

Whenever we watch a horror movie &
Cuddle up together under the blanket.
Should I get too engrossed in what's
Happening on the screen, you give me
A reassuring kiss on the head whenever
I scream in terror.

I chose you, because you're always
Spoiling me with breakfast in bed
Or a small present, a token of your
Love.
For the way you smile to yourself,
Whenever you see me blush.

My cheeks giving away my feelings,
By subtly glowing a rosy shade of red.
I chose you, because out of all the girls
You could have had, that day you chose
Me instead.

I chose you, for how to don't give up on us easily.
How you always find a love fuelled way to get me to stay,
To talk our problems out whenever my immediate
Irrational reaction is to run away. To run away from
Myself.

I chose you, because I know for a fact that you
Will always stay loyal & faithful to Me.
God put us on the same path that day to meet,
Connect on a deeper, spiritual level & stay together.
Because He knows, We are Forever meant to be.

- Alexandra Pierotti.

     

"Popular" - Social Media Platform's Unspoken Curse.

Those who are "popular",
Though they'll always deny it,
Experience the most sadness & pain.
They rely on numbers of
Likes, comments and shares.

To ever be truly happy, their minds can't comprehend.

They think what's most important,
Is to be on board the "trending" train.
If you don't meet their, ✨#Fancy lifestyle✨
Expectations - by living a simple, humble life,
Then they do their best to put you to shame.

Don't allow their words of jealousy
Laced bitterness, to get to you.
So don't go out of your way,
To voluntarily subconsciously torture yourself,
By driving yourself insane.

To compare your Natural, God given beauty,
To artificial AI assisted, unrealistic filters
Is a waste of energy, time and tears.

If you keep brainwashing yourself
By comparing yourself to others,
Out of it, nothing you will gain.

Love the person that you Are.
The person, you were born to be.
Always be YOU.

Because at the end of the day,
All that matters is, you are NOT
Just another number.

You are a PERSON.
A name 💖.

A promise from the Heavens,
Once long ago, sincerely made.
Being fulfilled in everything
You do & say, every single day.

It doesn't pay to be "popular",
When the day rolls to its end.
Anyone who doesn't love you for who
you are, is in their own way,
Crazy in the head.

It's more than okay, to buy
Clothes that are unbranded & at prices that are cheap.
It just means you know how to
Make the most of your individual,
Personal priorities.

Those who are "popular",
Forever will boast about
Their ✨fancy✨ lives.
A smile, their go-to mask.
Secret, silent tears,
That are always & forever,
Frozen in disguise.

- Alexandra Pierotti.

 

    

Fairies Work At Night.

 Fairies work at night,
When everyone's asleep.
They use their magic to
Paint the world, a masterpiece.

Roses red, streams berry blue.
Meadows, a variety of luxurious
Shades of green.

Some fairies work overtime,
Until the early hours of morning light.
They disguise themselves at butterflies,
Their colourful wings a sight for sore
Eyes.

Fairies work at night,
When no one is around.
They tidy up after us,
By picking all our litter
Off of the ground.

So when you step outside
The following day, the environment is
Safe and sound.

They hide under wild mushrooms,
Or large tree leaves.
Their ideal hiding place is,
Somewhere where they can not
Be easily seen.

When they are ready, they jump.
Their wings picking up on air currents,
blowing along gracefully on the breeze.

Fairies make it rain when
Plants are thirsty,
So that they can continue to grow.

So love and take time to admire
The world around you, because while
Fairies are very rarely seen, their
Hard work shows.
To not appreciate it, is just plain
Mean.

The Fairy Queen's crown jewels,
Are made of children's' teeth from
Around the world.

From the toughest boy, to the
Daintiest girl.
Good brushing makes them sparkle,
Whiter than any pearl.

She slips a coin under your pillow,
Her own little way of saying,
"Thank you for your donation,
May you have good dreams."

Did you know that if you see a rainbow,
It's a fairy hurrying on their way?
To find shelter and get to sleep,
During the sunniest hours.

Because it is very important for
Them to rest, so that they can recharge
Their magical powers.

Fairies work at night,
Finally you see.
Almost invisible to the naked eye,
A true friend to you and me.

- Alexandra Pierotti.
   

The Lone Rider.

 Through life's journey, I have travelled far. Through scorching sun, fierce winds & pounding rain.

Though numerous Outlaws tried to knock me off of my horse, I remained calm & collected. Steadily, firmly holding on to the reins.

Battered, bruised & bloody, I fight through the pain. I am the lone rider. Riding on, discovering & experiencing new adventures each and every day.

 - Alexandra Pierotti.

A Letter To ALL Bullies - Bullying? NO WAY!

Dear bullies,

I'm sorry for whatever is so wrong with your life, that the only way for you to regain control, is to transfer and project your pain & suffering on to the innocent.

What terrible things were said & done to you, that you feel the need to be unkind?

let's pause this tape. do a quick rewind.

Who hurt you so badly, that you feel the need to lash out? I know that secretly, even if you don't admit it, you know what it feels like to be unheard no matter how loudly you cry, scream, rant and shout.

I can see that you're carrying a lot of mental & emotional baggage. the weight of it all keeps you pinned down. had you taken the time to put your feelings aside, get to know me & allowed me to be your friend. You would have seen how loving, understanding & loyal I am to no end.

I would have made you feel special, our laughter your medicine. The good times we could have shared. but instead you chose violence - to beat me up & discard me like an old childhood toy.

for all those times you thought you won the battle, seeing me cry. I'm here to tell you that as hard as you tried to defeat me, every day I am one step closer to winning the ultimate war. every time I get back up again, I am stronger than ever before.

It's thanks to you, that in my new life I am now able to see, it's what's inside a person that matters. It's inner beauty that makes me, me.

I hope that one day you are able to discover inner peace, like me. true happiness can't be bought, not even leased.

Riches are fools' gold. while you think that you still hold some level of power over me, I'm here to tell you and your evil devilish side that my soul will not be sold!

meanwhile, until you find your way, I'll be here praying for you. that by the grace of god, your life will take a turn & change for the better. these words written are mine, but on behalf of every victim of bullying, this is our letter.

You should know that, I have moved on. Forgiven you, forgiven myself. I've let go, cut all ties to my past. I have wiped clean our slate.

I continue to love, because at the end of the day it will always override your hate.

- Alexandra Pierotti.