That night, in the cold
And the rain.
I didn't leave because of
Some chime indicating,
Midnight.
I had no curfew, so it's
Not like I was going to be
Late.
No, I left because I had to.
Nobody understands the goings
On of my brain.
What it's like, to be consumed
By the Monster that is Anxiety.
To be eaten from the inside, out.
Swallowed whole, by a panic attack.
Feeling the need to scream, all the
While knowing that no sound will
Come out.
If you suffer from Anxiety also,
You'll know what I'm talking about.
I didn't leave my glass shoe, in
The hallway that night.
It left me behind, falling
Off of my foot.
Betrayal of the best kind.
The shrew that is the heel,
Stomped on the hem of my
Favourite blue dress.
Tearing the material for all
To see, just as I felt that my
Mind was commencing a battle
Of it's own.
Mocking the cry of my heart,
Laughing spitefully as it watched
It shred and tear itself apart.
Self destruction at its finest,
I had no choice but to leave.
To not feed the sight, of
Judgemental onlookers.
I didn't want the whole
World to see.
The thought of the fact of
What went down, to this day still
Haunts me like a bad dream.
It's like my Soul has forgotten
What it's like to know peace, though
It be hard to make my comeback
With my head held high.
I've got to remind myself to
Breathe, it's not easy but I've
Got to try.
The Monster that is Anxiety,
Doeth live in my Mind rent
Free.
Though it's with me permanently,
I'm not going to let it loose and go
Rogue in the Castle of my being.
I must acknowledge, come to terms
With and not be ashamed to be the
Living quarters for Anxiety.
Hush now, Monster.
It's not our fault,
We couldn't help it.
It's time now for You,
To fall back to sleep.
I'll return when we're
Ready, to pick up the
Shards of that broken
Moment.
There's always going to be
Another ball for us to attend,
I see you now not as an enemy.
Rather, an overwhelmingly,
Terrified friend.
It's okay, though slightly
Embarrassing.
I know, you've got my
Back and I've got yours.
There's no use, crying over
Spilt Champagne.
You and me? We are One.
So different, yet, we are but
The same.
Most illnesses known to
Man, are easily cured.
Though, not always.
Not this one, anyway.
We have a long road ahead
Of us, but I'm not one to give
Up.
This is who we are.
This, is who we've become.
It's okay that we were transparent,
So long as I continue to carry on.
To own what happened,
Own my Name.
Nothing good ever came
From those who walk through
Life, their head permanently
Bowed in shame.
- Alexandra Pierotti.
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